Spanish: How To Learn it in 2 years! (and not loose it all)

How to Learn to Speak Spanish Proven Method:

1. Buy and learn: Pimsleur Spanish (this will take 100 days or more).
   
2. Go to Mexico for 6 months and use what you have learned while not speaking any english.
3. While in Mexico, take a dictionary and read the Bible, and other books to increase your vocabulary. Also, write down words that you hear people say and don't know what they mean and look them up in your dictionary when you get home.
   
4. Cry (because that is what will get you through not being able to express your anger at how different their culture is from yours).
5. After 6 months, now you can make jokes and understand 90% of what is being said.
6. Return to the US via bus and stay for 2 days with the family of someone that you knew in Mexico. You have to do this because your visa only lasts 6 months and you have to renew your visa (also take 40 dollars to pay for the new visa, and about $400 for bus fare. MAKE SURE you don't act like a gringo!).
7. Go back to Mexico for another 6 months.
8. Return to the US and get a job speaking spanish.
9. Find some people who speak spanish and talk to them frequently.
   
10. Read lots of books in spanish and translate some books from english to spanish.

Disclaimer: Method not 100% guaranteed. Method is also FAR from the best one to actually use but will probably work if you can't find a better one. Although, this method is pretty well laid out. All you have to do is the work! Saftey not 100% guaranteed (especially with the drug war that is going on right now). Also, be careful in Mexico City! Make sure you have access to a good doctor and have someone to take you if you get cholera or the flu or a bad case of athletes feet. Don't eat cow stomach stew unless you like gross stuff. Tip your cab driver. Learn to speak spanish BEFORE riding a bus. Don't make this trip if you are a member of PETA.