Truth must not be told without a regard to kindness and love for the other person. Telling someone the truth but having love for the other person is destructive. The other person can distinguish from something said in love or something just simply said out of pride. Pride, I think is what is motivating us to say things that are not from love. So, it is important to say things with 100% grace and 100% truth.
How is that going to happen? Well, you first have to have experienced God's grace, had it change your life and produce fruit. You also have to know the truth that flows from God's grace in your life. Those who are truthful have experienced grace and therefore can be truthful in a gracious way. Peter said, "But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be the glory both now and to the day of eternity. Amen. " 2 Peter 3:18.
I sometimes find myself wanting to grow so much in truth that I put it above being gracious and kind and loving. I am harsh with people when they get in the way of my learning more information. That becomes what is called an "idol". Yes, I hate the term because it is so overused nowadays but thought it was most appropriate here. So, I must back off of my desire to learn and think about all the grace that God has showed this numbskull (myself), and show the same care and patience with someone else.